


I love you, I really do.

by meowfrnk



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Christmas, Cute, Fluff, Frerard, Getting Together, M/M, Oneshot, Pining, Snow, happy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:46:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowfrnk/pseuds/meowfrnk
Summary: Hours had passed, and Frank Iero was doing his best to shield his sleep-worn eyes that felt like they needed to sink into his skull, his grown out, curled over dark brown hair near enough covering his eyes. He let out a frustrated sigh, the morning light always waking him up when he forgot to pull down the blinds to the large window in his middle sized bedroom.  He made a lazy attempt at blinking away the sleepiness that had dug a hole inside his mattress, making the blankets feel dense and the idea of sleep whispering sweet nothings as he wished he could just go back into his dream world, and back to Gerard once more.  It seemed that this was the easiest way to tell him the truth from what he’s been hiding for all this time.Frank smiled in reminiscence to back when he first met Gerard at a crowded basement show all those years ago, and how his soft, shy face draped in long black hair that likely hadn’t been washed in days. He’d had melted his small and aching heart in mere minutes of their eyes meeting. Something about him made him special, feel at home.
Relationships: Frank Iero & Gerard Way
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5
Collections: Have Yourself A Merry Little Fic Exchange





	I love you, I really do.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xobarriers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xobarriers/gifts).



The contrast against the dark December sky made the white snow sing its way down from the mottled, clouded night sky. It seemed to always settle delicately across the ground, layering itself like soft blankets ribboned across the grass, pavements and roads. If you listened closely enough you can feel the sound childish excitement from those that stretch awake, look from their window to see the pristine snow shower down like a blizzard.

Busy workers walked out, armoured in scarves and high-vis jackets that screamed orange, patrolled in their vans, laying down their gritty salt as the snow mixed with the murkiness of their tires sludging the perfect cold, blue weather. The air tasted sweet to breathe in, before the messy town pollution began to interfere similar to a punch to the face that just tempts your face to frown. 

Hours had passed, and Frank Iero was doing his best to shield his sleep-worn eyes that felt like they needed to sink into his skull, his grown out, curled over dark brown hair near enough covering his eyes. He let out a frustrated sigh, the morning light always waking him up when he forgot to pull down the blinds to the large window in his middle sized bedroom. He made a lazy attempt at blinking away the sleepiness that had dug a hole inside his mattress, making the blankets feel dense and the idea of sleep whispering sweet nothings as he wished he could just go back into his dream world, and back to Gerard once more. It seemed that this was the easiest way to tell him the truth from what he’s been hiding for all this time. 

Frank smiled in reminiscence to back when he first met Gerard at a crowded basement show all those years ago, and how his soft, shy face draped in long black hair that likely hadn’t been washed in days. He’d had melted his small and aching heart in mere minutes of their eyes meeting. Something about him made him special, feel at home. It was unlike anything else he’d experienced before. He thought of them with a smile across his face, beginning to surrender the sheets that spun around him like a record, sat up from his bed and on-looked to the calm, white weather outside his window that made his heart flutter in excitement. With the quiet feeling of hope; quickly the feeling of dread seeped through the cracks of uncertainty that began to cloud his mind. 

Then reality hit, they hadn’t properly spoken in months. Each day passing the distance and pushing them further away from each other. He patted around him to find his phone, if anything this dream is a sign to contact Gerard after this spare time apart. His phone lit up, the time was 9:30am as he fumbled through his apps, his stomach nervously turning. He shook his head dismissively, loitering around his room and searching for something decent to wear for the moment, reluctantly grabbing his phone as he left his upstairs bedroom to make his way into his open-plan kitchen to brew some fresh coffee. 

The quietness of his house never bothered Frank until now, he wished he could fill it up with memories and have more to smile about besides him having a free space to try and record some music to put his head at ease. He poured a large mug of black coffee, stirring in some sugar to sweeten the bitter, early-morning taste. He’d loved the taste of coffee, it had become his vice over smoking to what he gave up coming up to five years ago, it was nice to drink the beverage while watching the snow continue to kiss the ground, it layered thick across the middle-sized garden that on-looked from his kitchen. It brought a small smile to his face as he brought the warm, sweet mug towards his tired face and drank long sips. He’d started to pace as he patted himself down to find his phone.

Frank had loved New Jersey in Winter, the bitter chills of the wind making you just appreciate the warmth of your house just a little bit more. He could have never brought himself to move, it was always his home. There’s family there and he felt too guilty to leave, this is the first snow he’s seen since he was a child. He placed the half empty mug onto the high wooden table top. He reached into his pocket, opened his phone and scrolled through his contacts, finding Gerard’s name quickly and calling. 

He listened into the dailing tone that droned on to feel like it was beginning to taunt Frank and how he’s an idiot for leaving it so long to contact someone he called a brother. It rang, and rang. Just as Frank had began to loose hope - the phone gets picked up.  
“Hello?” The voice croaked.  
Frank could feel the pace of his heart quicken.  
“Uh- Hey..” He murmured.  
“Oh- Frank.”  
It was Gerard, yep. Frank thought to himself, gulping down his bouncing nerves that shot around his body, tightening his throat.  
“Yeah, long time no talk.” He sighed.  
“-What time is it? Is something wrong?” Their voice was clouded with concern.  
Frank felt himself blink, it was 9:35.  
“Oh, no- nothings wrong. I just saw the weather and wondered if you’d like to catch up- If you’re in town.” He laughed somewhat nervously. Frank did a bad job at hiding his nerves and the fact Frank could almost feel Gerard’s furrowed brow.  
“Yeah sure, I’m round my parents at the moment..”  
Frank did his best to cloud his excitement, his heart pounding in an eclipse.  
“I can meet you at the little park thats halfway between us and catch up if you want.”  
“Sure, sure. I’ll meet you there for 10.” Gerard announced.  
“Cool- see you then.”  
“See you, Frankie”.

The call dropped, and Frank felt joy curdle in the pit of his stomach, overlapping and overwhelming- he’d hoped Gerard felt the same despite their absence from each other, he felt himself smile to himself for the first time in a long while.

He had paced around his apartment, throwing on a large, black winter coat that he wrapped around himself in blissful warmth and sliding on a pair of black doc Martens that had definitely seen many better days having being battered from being on tours, kicking around the stage with his guitar like he owned it, and he did like a profound master. Hell, he’d even practised playing guitar blindfolded. He patted himself down quickly and made sure to have his keys, credit card and phone on his person, the amount of times he forgot something simple - he’d easily began to loose count. He cringed deeply, thinking about the awkward events these actions had caused, furrowing his brows, then quickly relaxing his face. 

I have got to compose myself, no mistakes, things will go great. Frank asserted to himself in a huff as he approached his large front door, turning the knob welcomely and bursted it open to see the snow littering the ground beneath him, the bitter coldness of the December breeze feeling much like a punch to the face. He inhaled the sharp smell of the chill that ran through the delicate wind, snow decorating the surrounding trees like thick royal icing, despite it being New Jersey, snow makes everything look beautiful. Frank slammed the heavy door behind him shut, ensuring the fact he heard the lock click as he on-looked to the scenery around him as he began to walk up towards the direction of the park, hearing the delicate layers of snow crunch and crackle beneath his heavy booted feet. 

Time passed as Frank began walking near towards the iron-gated entrance of the large park, that twisted and twined, each piece of iron connecting and disconnecting. It was a nice area to be around, very open and welcoming in a sense. The usual morning silence became littered with quiet noise in the distance, a couple of cars driving to their usual commute as the grey puff of emissions swam into the open, crisp winter air. He turned his head to spot a dark figure that started to move closer and closer to him. Frank shuffled his phone out of his coat pocket and checked the time, it was 9:55. It has to be Gerard, he thought to himself. As he stepped closer up the pavement, his figure taking more shape. Frank waved to him like a second reflex to confirm the fact it was him, he could tell from his careful yet shuffled walk. 

They waved back in enthusiasm as Frank opened his arms up, Gerard sped up his walk and in a minute they wrapped Frank happily in their arms, a smile warm on their face. Frank hugged them back tenderly, patting his back as they slowly pulled out of the lingering embrace. Gerard smelled like a mix of must and a woody aftershave, that was very pleasant to the nose, and this scent clung to his neck and clothes. They both smiled at each other as Frank looked over Gerard’s round and delicate face, his cheeks reddened by the cool weather, as he sported a black and grey striped scarf that he’s had for years by now. His black still shaggy, clean hair poking out from under a baggy beanie. “Nice scarf” Frank jested. Gerard huffed, looking at frank’s shoes. “Nice shoes, old trusty’s again?” He joked back. “Hello to you too. You look great.” Frank rolled his eyes, grinning still. 

The pair began to walk through the park, that consisted of a small children’s play area, a lake that had frozen over and fields of open grass that had been covered in layers of pure, white snow. nostalgia almost running through his bones. Gerard had kept a soft atmosphere around themselves, he carried an air of confidence around him that Frank had been pleased to see. Gerard looked at Frank with warm eyes, his delicate gaze sending shivers of coursing electricity up and through his veins. They enjoyed each others company as they on looked the delicate scenery, that without a doubt will get near enough destroyed by children in a couple of hours. Frank eyed up the snow, tempting fate and the temptation of wanting to roll up a snowball overwhelmed his thoughts, he did his best to hide his devious intent. The two kept close together while walking, Frank sheepishly brushing his hand against Gerard’s and letting the small touch linger as they walked through the park. Gerard kept walking forward as Frank tip toed and grabbed a handful of snow and- cold cold cold. 

Freezing cold. 

All over his hands. 

Oh fuck. 

He squirmed to smash together the snow to form a small snowball - It was a little lopsided, but that’s okay. He quickened his pace and threw the snowball and oh - it flew. “Lift off!” Frank announced, Gerard frowned and turned his head quickly, his eyes widening. Frank’s face was lit up with pure mischief, matched with dimples and a twisted smile. And he watched the snowball miss him completely - instead the small ball landed in front of him. “Oh nuts. I’m in for it now” Frank cringed, laughing. Gerard locked eye contact with Frank as he caught up to him. “What was that for?” He asked, quizzically. “I couldn’t help it! The snow tempted me, promise.” He smiled, hiding the fact he’s been defeated by mere gravity. “Wanna warm me up?” Frank shot a flirty look, wiggling his cold hands that felt numb. Gerard opened his mouth a little, in shock mostly.

Before he could give a response, Gerard grabbed his hands openly and brought them up to their mouth, breathing his warm breath onto them, locking eyes with Frank and all he could do was stand their, looking doe-eyed as ever doing his best to process what’s happening right now, his mouth slightly agape. Gerard smiled shyly, letting go of his hands. “Better?” They raised their eyebrows. Frank blinked and nodded. “y-yeah! Thanks.” He smiled toothily. “Wanna go grab some coffee from The Coffee Club?” Gerard asked, eyes and tone full of wonder. Frank nodded “Sure, lets go.” 

There’s been many fond memories in the depths of the small cafe that situated a couple of minutes walk away from the park, the atmosphere was very warm and welcome. There was a shelf of books near the entrance full of fictional books and a selection of poetry that Frank had enjoyed browsing, they housed plenty of his favourites including Sylvia Plath, plus they do a delicious cappuccino. It always smelled of fresh coffee and comfort encapsulated into the small, frail building, the most comforting being the kind baristas that tend the coffees. Frank felt a familiar waft of excitement run through him as he and Gerard entered the familiar, wood-aneled shop. It’s a great refuge for the outcasts- or to those who felt like one. 

The lights hung with wire from the ceiling, shining a yellow tinge to the tables and chairs as the white reflection from outside contrasted against it, the clash almost fought for your attention. The room overall had a comfortable tone, the lightened oak wood tables with stools, the famous large bookshelf that stood proudly next to the door at the front of the cafe that housed well-read books. The left wall is armed with an open bar; made from light oak sat with two large set coffee machines. There was also a selection of layered trays, behind it sitting a large dark fridge that had a slight white-noise hum, covered by the sound of a rock radio station. 

Behind that, the wall stood tall with dark grey layered bricks decorating it. There was also three shelves that stocked bags of different roasts of coffee to be sold, alongside hand-made clay glazed mugs. There was a wooden sign placed next to the shelves that read “The Coffee Club” in a bold, readable font alongside their selective, robust menu. Stood behind the bar was a tired looking Barista with short, bleached white hair, with a warmed and welcoming smile as the bell rang with Frank and Gerard walking in, greeted with the warmth of good central heating along the familiar sweetened, deep aroma of coffee. 

The bell rang as Frank opened the wooden, insulated door, being careful to not slip while letting in Gerard, in which he welcomed in the kind coffee aroma. The barista met the men with kind eyes and nodded them forward to a table. “Hey guys! Just come on up and order when you’re ready.” She smiled warmly, her rounded and mousey features framing her face, yet dripping in androgyny. Frank had forgotten how beautiful The Coffee Club is as a small, independent coffee shop, nodding towards the waitress, smiling a half-awkward smile. 

The two decided to sit at the back of the store, nearest to where the heater above them hummed. Gerard frowned, focusing in on the large robust menu that stood tall up against a wall, slouching against the back of the chair, his arms loose and relaxed on top of the table, reaching one out to the middle of the small, oak glossed table, making eye contact with Gerard who had a focused look in his face.“Hm.. They have new additions to the menu.. Black Forest mocha?” Frank smiled in his quizzical seeming response. “I think I’ll settle for a classic, frothy cappuccino- the next best coffee to black.” Frank stated with intent to cause chaos, a risque fire behind his hazel eyes, watching careful for Gerard’s slightly taken-aback reaction. 

His mouth in a loose agape - that he couldn’t resist to fantasise about again, and how much he wished he could graze against his lips again. His soft, pinked lips, cupping his rounded, handsomely- yet pretty face. Gerard let out a half laugh, shaking his head and looking to the floor and back towards Frank with a look that shot shivers up his spine. “Frankie, don’t start a fight you won’t win - Cappuccinos, as they are fluffy, delightful, just isn’t the punch as a sugary black coffee for when you need it.” Gerard spoke about coffee like it’s a near-forgotten lover, Frank loved it. “Oh yeah?” Frank winked. 

“Anyway, I’ll have a large black coffee, Frankie.” He purred, a light behind his eyes that Frank had missed seeing. Frank smiled, nodding as he slid the chair back and made his way to the counter, ordering a large black coffee and a large flat white to-go. Frank spied Gerard looking around the cafe, soaking in the quietness that sat still - he snapped out of the quiet daze once he realised Frank was studying him in slight admiration as he began to walk up to Frank. The pale waitress slid over the two take-away cups carefully.

“Okay sir, here’s your order! Thank-you for shopping at the coffee club. Would love to see you two again?” She smiled, turning back to the machines to clean up. “Yeah - thank you!” Frank beamed, taking the warming beverage as they welcomed back the cool and bitter winter weather that swarmed snow falling from the sky like pixie dust. The streets littered with people in cars, traffic starting to block up the roads. 

“Frankie, - go careful. I don’t want you to slip. Please be careful when you walk - Looks hectic” Gerard said, his voice loose with concern, offering an arm that Frank was pretty quick to take, an unspoken spark that had started to become less of an enigma. The small touch bringing a hidden connection between the two, Frank turned his attention to Gerard. “Thank you - Gee. Yeah it looks like its gunna get bad. Wanna go round mine? I have plenty of warmth there. Lots of snacks too, Movie night?” He looked up at him, full of glee, matched up with a tough anxiety that sat stagnant in his stomach and chest. Gerard smiled in response, nodding. “Lets go, but I’m picking the movies.” He winked, sending a spring of relief in Frank’s chest. 

He held onto Gerard with a slight tinge of need as the two treaded through the cold and icy snow in the way back to Frank’s humble abode, the snow hammering down to the floor. The coffee being the warmed liquid to keep them moving through the chilling conditions. 

Franks reddened, chilled hands fumbled through his pockets to find his keys, once he found them he successfully opened the door to his home, warm air cascading out of the door as he walked in, holding the door for Gerard as he quickly shuffled in, shutting the door behind him.

“Guess we should have really read into the forecast before heading out.” Frank cringed at the mere thought of the hammering snow, the chill digging into his bones, making him feel like he’ll never be able to warm up again as he unzipped his jacket and hung it up quickly on the coat rack nearby. Gerard did the same, taking off his scarf and Frank taking off his winter hat. Once they’d kicked off both of their shoes, Frank followed Gerard into his lounge area that sat a large, leather cosy sofa that was layered in soft, winter blankets that had plaid patterns dancing across it. 

Frank flopped down next to Gerard, offering him a cheerful glance. “Can I get you anything?” He asked, raising en eyebrow. Gerard shot a look at the record player that sat impressively in the room on a high table, below it stood a metal box stacked with vinyl records, a smile creeping across his face. “Can we play some vinyls?” He cocked an eyebrow innocently. Frank furrowed his brows in thought, and reluctantly said “Yes.” Frank was hoping Gerard would appreciate his varied collection, and how he picked up some records by Carpenters and thought of him, and how no matter how hard he tried to get them out of his head, everywhere he looked, he saw Gerard. 

He watched Gerard wonder over and crouch down to flip through his collection, making sweet humming sounds as he flickered - Frank diverted his attention to the nearby gas fireplace that stood up against the wall and flashed on the switches, making the fireplace glow orange from the hidden LED’s under the plastic crafted coal pieces, flashes of heat raising the temperature further in the slightly chilled room. “I’m so glad for central heating.” Frank announced proudly, turning his head as Gerard was holding a 7” record in one hand, lifting up the needle with the other with the utmost respect, and carefully began playing the record player. 

The speakers made a slight crackle as the song began, and it made Franks heart explode when he began to recognise the very song Gerard had picked. 

It was Superstar. 

The very record that Gerard had given him as a part of a birthday present the first year they met - He recalled it being one of their favourite songs and Frank could see why, he just didn’t fully understand why he gave him this specific record. Frank couldn’t even begin to register what was going on around him, he stayed crouched next to the heater as Gerard strolled the few steps in his direction, offering out a slender arm. Frank turned his head and looked up towards them. “May I have this dance, Frankie?” He asked, tilting his head down, his slightly dampened, black, hair framing their face as his mouth twisted into a smirk. Frank bit his lip in thought and nodded, taking his arm and pulling himself up, feeling the connection deepen between them. 

Frank followed Gerard’s lead as they laughed and filled the empty seeming room with joy, having fun in each others company. Frank had felt like he had finally found someone he finally belonged to, in a strange and surrealistic way. The music being a soundtrack as they circled each other and edged closer together. Their faces being mere centimetres apart, their hands all over each other. Frank moved his hand from Gerard’s waist up to the back of his neck as he pulled him in, the music sweetly singing, with a hint of melancholy. 

“baby, baby, oh baby, I love you, I really do..” 

This was Frank’s chance. It has to be. He shut his eyes and turned his head to meet Gerard’s pinked lips. In that moment, their energies collided all together, all at once as the soft, yet meaningful kiss pressed together, he felt the slight pressure of a kiss back and he felt his heart race with nerves firing up and through his system, feeling as if he stopped kissing them, his world would end. The record player ended, forcing a loud mic sound that sent Frank jolt in fear, he gasped as he looked up at Gerard, who had a keen, yet dazed focus. 

“Frankie, there’s some things I’ve been needing to tell you, for a real long time. And I’m sorry I’ve been to afraid to ever admit anything to you. You’re everything to me, and I’m sorry for not being there for you. I was afraid. The truth is Frankie, everything on that song is true.” Gerard said, a pinkish blush littering his cheeks. In the moment, Frank held his breath - a little taken aback by what he had just said. 

How could I be so unaware.. Frank thought to himself, mentally smacking himself in the face and head butting the wall. “Gee.. I can’t believe it. Out of all the times, why now? We’ve known each other for years and you never said anything.. until now?” Frank frowned, a little disheartened he never said anything before-hand. 

“I know.. All I can say is sorry. I’ll do anything I can in my power to make it up to you, Frankie. I denied my feelings and now I can’t hide them anymore. ” Gerard stated confidently. Frank sighed, doing his best to hide the smile from under his mouth. 

“ I have feelings for you too, and I’m sorry for not making enough effort with keeping up with you.” Frank shuffled his feet, studying Gerard for his reaction, to which they wrapped Frank up in a big hug, resting his head on his forehead. “You’re my everything. I’m here now and always. We have forever to make memories, Frankie.” Gerard cooed reassuringly, stroking Frank’s back in slow movements. 

Frank exhaled, and in that exhale was relief. The relief that Frank wasn’t totally alone in this strange world that seemed to want to eat him alive, for he had Gerard from now on to be by his side, the two men stayed in an embracive hug that they both had needed for a long time. And all of a sudden, it all began to make sense. It felt as if all of Frank’s broken pieces had been held and moulded back together just in the one kiss, and he knew deep in his heart he didn’t need to live in fear of not being accepted anymore. Frank pulled back a little from the hug to look at Gerard’s face again, as he smiled in bliss of having a person that he can call his, in the smile holds Franks future, and he cannot wait to build it with Gerard up and by his side.


End file.
